I Do Not Like Green Eggs and Ham!!

I don't like fetish balls. Just don't. I respect the people who do. I respect the people who bust their humps to put them together. I respect the reason for them. If I liked to play dress up I would probably like them better.

But...

I am a consensual sadist. I like it when the *bottom* is in pain, uncomfortable, embarrassed, whatever.

Corsets pinch and inhibit my breathing

8" heals will send me to the emergency room with a twisted ankle. I was a little girl feminist and refused to wear the 2 inch variety--so now the 2 inch variety just *hurts*.

Stand and Model S&M gives me tics.

I don't drink.

I hate really loud music. I get enough loud Mexican tuba music where I live anyway.

I don't like mosh pits.

If I see people dressed like that I want to *play*. Yet playing is not allowed. Unless you spend your vacation money on a darned VIP room.

I don't generally want to spend the sum they want to charge me for the privilege of standing in a crowd, shoes and clothes pinching (or feeling like a dweeb because I wore something *comfortable*) waiting for the damned loo.

I am ready to be suspended by hooks. I want to learn how to suspend others by hooks. I am so over the gawking phase with the damned hooks already. Please!!

So....unless you want me to perform, or poke someone with sharp objects, or run the caning both, or do something *useful* there....

I ain't going.

Like I said--nothing against fetish balls. I love people who love fetish balls.

I also don't like plain cottage cheese, and yet D. whom I respect hugely, eats the stuff all of the time.

Do you like Green Eggs and Ham?

I do not like them, Sam I am.

I do not like green eggs and ham

Would you eat them here or there

I would not eat them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.*

So if you are gonna name something a ball that does not fit this description and then want me to come....

Tell me what it really is. Or I ain't coming.



*With Apologies to Dr. Seuss.